Zero Punctuation

Ben “yahtzee” Croshaw’s website, Fully Ramblomatic.com, states that “If Bruce Campbell were a website, he’d be this one”. It takes balls to actually publicize such a bold statement. Fortunately for him, he’s got a pair… and it’s filled with awesome.

He’s best known for making a couple of hilarious video game reviews on YouTube. They’re composed of simple animations and his brilliant, fast, non-stop ramblings. This led to him being hired by The Escapist Magazine to release new episodes every Wednesday.

Here’s every episode so far:

Having played the Heavenly Sword demo last night* made that episode even funnier. Plus, his views on the video game industry are as dead-on as Adam Sessler’s. And his praise of classic adventure games and Beyond Good & Evil made me extra happy.

* Heavenly Sword looks like a Ferrari with amazing cornering to anyone looking at it. To someone playing, it feels like a go-cart on rails.

Punk-o-matic

As I was going through a drive deleting old files, I stumbled upon this little gem of Internet goodness: Punk-o-matic. It’s a flash game with pre-recorded punk riffs and beats that you can arrange into your own punk song. It definitely shows off Marco Arsenault’s talent as both a punk artist and Flash programmer. You can also save your creations or share them as a code.

I played with this a lot around early 2004 and actually finished a song. Just press the “Load” button and copy/paste this code into the space:

--------9-681--81--81--81---8868869---878786-80---1-884-78769---
-------------------------7-7-7-7-2---2---2---2---2---2-8---8---2
---0---2-8-c----6c------------------------8-a---a-----0---1---3-
4-5-6-88-88-a---01023-5-7-7-7-6-a----9a------------------------

If you have any Punk-o-matic codes feel free to post them in the comments. Alternatively you can tell me how much I suck.

How to make Halo skirmish playable again

Since the good ol’ days of Team Fortress Classic my favorite kinds of online gaming are objective-based. Whether it’s capturing a flag or a base, I find it more satisfying to win as a team than having a deadly 8-year-old on my side. The skirmish mode on Halo 2, as you might expect, once consumed most of my Xbox Live time. Lately, though, it’s not as fun.

The cause: Masterbunjee.

Of course, blaming him/her for the problem is like attributing global warming to the Hummer. But that gas-guzzler isn’t helping, is it? The real problem is quitters: People who are teamed up with you on a match but quit during the game when the team is loosing. Since the launch of the game this problem has only gotten progressively worse. And of all the game modes, I believe skirmish has suffered the most.

When I decided to write this I realized I needed a picture to go with the piece. So I went to my Xbox with a camera to see if I could take a snap of a player list with quitters on it. That didn’t prove difficult. We had quitters on all three games.

The problem is obvious and it is clearly hurting Halo 2. What can be done? Not much at this point, but maybe Halo 3 can be spared the same fate before it goes gold.

Here’s my solution for Bungie: Separate those players that have a dropped connection from those that quit by manually leaving the game or by disconnecting their Xbox. Assign a worse category to the ones that quit when their team is full and be more forgiving to the ones that quit when one or more team members are missing. Then tag the bastards after enough offenses.

What can be done to them once tagged? Reprimand them? Ban them? No. Just match them together.

When tagged quitters go into matchmaking, just assign them to games with other quitters. The same principle can be applied to others, like teammate killers or superjumpers (I know it’s technically legal, but come on).

I wouldn’t be surprised if Bungie is already working on something like this, but in case they aren’t I hope this helps. One less group of assholes to deal with on Xbox Live should be an improvement.

Now, does anybody have any ideas on how to hunt down racist 12-year-olds?

UPDATE (8.4.07)

Here’s an interesting counterpoint from FuckBungie.Net.

Linkdump: Online productivity tools

OFFICE TOOLS

    Zoho - Office suite including word processor, spreadsheet, presentation, wiki, CRM, and other applications. It makes heavy use of the AJAX technology to allow a rich user interface. Most applications can be used free of charge.

    Google Docs & Spreadsheets - It allows users to create and edit documents and spreadsheets online while collaborating in real-time with other users. A third product for presentations, includes technology designed by Tonic Systems, is expected for the summer of 2007.

    ThinkFree - An office suite written in Java includes a word processor (Write), a spreadsheet (Calc) and a presentation program (Show). ThinkFree Office has a look and feel similar to Microsoft Word, Excel and PowerPoint, allowing users to switch over easily. Includes 1GB of storage.

    ajax13 - ajaxWrite; ajaxSketch; ajaxXLS; ajaxPresents; ajaxTunes

PHOTO EDITORS

    Picnik - Flash based, fastest, and the most intuitive. Once you are done editing, you can transfer your photos directly to Flickr.

    Fauxto - Flash-based Photoshop look-alike with layers.

    Pixenate - Ajax based editor, a great user interface with the main features highlighted on large icons. The basic “enhance” feature does a very good job of fixing the obvious problems with pictures.

    Preloadr - Flickr-specific tool that uses the Flickr API, even for account sign-in. The service includes basic cropping, sharpening, color correction and other tools to enhance images.

CALENDARS

    Google Calendar - Ajax driven contact and time-management web application offered by Google. It allows users to synchronize their Gmail contacts with a web-based calendar.

    30 Boxes - Ajax-based online personal organizer with strong social aspects. It consists of several applications including a critically acclaimed calendar, to do lists, identity aggregation, event mapper, people search, and web desktop.

INSTANT MESSENGERS

    Meebo - In-browser instant messaging program which supports multiple IM services, including Yahoo! Messenger, Windows Live Messenger, Google Talk, AIM, ICQ, and Jabber. It looks and behaves like a Windows application thanks to some clever JavaScript, XHTML, CSS, and AJAX

    eBuddy - Web & mobile messenger which supports various instant messaging clients including MSN Messenger, Yahoo! and AIM. It was one of the first web-based messengers online. Consequently, it hasn’t changed much: It still uses regular old school HTML frames, tables and page refreshes. It doesn’t run in a single window, instead, using popups for contact lists as well as conversations.

FEED READERS

VIDEO EDITORS

    Eyespot and Jumpcut are two new webapps that lets you upload, edit and share videos online.

CALCULATOR

STORAGE

    Xdrive - Free 5GB of online storage offered by AOL. Desktop client is avaliable with backup/restore functionality.

    Omnidrive - Free 1GB of online storange, 5GB/month bandwith. Desktop client avaliable. It’s also a system that integrates the files you’ve stored on various Web services into one virtual drive, which you can access from your own computer’s desktop (or from its Web interface). All Zoho office apps have been integrated into Omnidrive.

    Xmail Hard Drive - Web-based service allows you to use the space in your Gmail account as free network storage and upload and download files via their web-based interface. There is also a featured called “fling it” that emails a file to any gmail contact stored in the gmail account. If the person doens’t have a gmail account, they will have to get one and use xmhd to open the file.

    MediaMax - Free 25 GB of online storage, 1GB/month bandwith, send files up to 10 MB in size.

OTHERS

    Google Notebook - Provides a simple way to save and organize clips of information when conducting research online. This personal browser tool permits a user to write notes, and to clip text, images, and links from pages during browsing. These are saved to an online “notebook” with sharing and collaboration features.

Ways to find new music

It’s a bit sad going to clubs and bars in Puerto Rico. The DJ’s play the exact same set of Spanish-rock songs that everybody knows and everybody expects. And when there is a band playing, guess which songs they cover? … Give up? The exact same set of Spanish-rock songs mixed in with Bon Jovi.

Radio stations aren’t better. Although the FM band in the island is stuffed full, most of the stations have a Top 40 format. We only have one decent/good local rock station. And the absolute best station on the planet is in St. Thomas, so we can only enjoy if we can have the reception.

I think I would’ve ended my life by now if it wasn’t for Al Gore and his miraculous Internet apparatus.

As I keep trekking through the Web 2.0 seas, new sites for discovering music keep popping up. Each uses their own methods to recommend and play songs in their entirety that you may like. As they feed from what you tell them, they evolve and accommodate to your tastes. Eventually, you can listen to a stream of music that you love, but have never heard before. Unreal, isn’t it?

A big chunk of the music I enjoy is by independent artist that have benefited greatly from these services. Without labels and their exorbitant fees, their music is out there, being listened-too and purchased. And isn’t that the way it should be? Why should artists work hard so record executives can afford mansions, yachts, jets and hourly hand-jobs?

Here’s a collection of some of the stuff I’m interested in:

The old-school way: SHOUTcast
They’ll always be a place for streaming radio. Nullsoft’s SHOUTcast software has enabled just about anybody with the inclination to setup their very own music station. There are thousands upon thousands of them out there organized by genres. It’s also build into software you may already be using, like iTunes and the beloved XBMC. SHOUTcast is also supported by many other clients, like Nullsoft’s own Winamp, VLC media player, XMMS and Zinf.

The genomic way: Pandora
I’ve been using this awesome free service for about a year and a half. It’s unique in that they tag music with very informed descriptions by The Music Genome Project. As you tell it what songs you like or dislike from what it plays you, Pandora uses the descriptions to adapt to your tastes, and constantly serve you great music.

The versatile way: Slacker
“Slacker is a new kind of music company. We deliver personal radio that is customized for every listener”. It’s like SHOUTcast and Pandora combined. Sort of: The artist stations are only based on “similar artist” profiles and it doesn’t learn the way Pandora does. It also has streaming stations by genre, but unlike SHOUTcast the playlists are being generated on the fly just for you. Songs are skipable a limited amount of times thanks to the RIAA.

The playlist way: Finetune
Finetune streams tracks from the user’s favorite artists, and lets the user create and share playlists online. Playlists are 45 tracks long. But there are some RIAA induced limitations: You can only include 3 songs from the same artist in any given playlist and songs can only be played one time. I only used this once, but I was very impressed with the recommendations.

The social way: Last.fm
Last.fm is a music-based social networking site. I have it setup with iTunes and XBMC. All the music I listen on these gets listed on my Last.fm profile. The site can then give me recommendations based on what it has learned from other profiles. It also matches me with people that listen to similar music.

The less-free way: Amie Street
Amie Street is an online music store and social network service. Artists upload tracks onto the site, which allows users to purchase them at a price that varies according to demand. The price for all tracks starts at zero when a song is uploaded onto the site. It then rises according to the increased demand. The maximum price a song can reach is 98¢. Website users earn credits by recommending (”REC”) songs to their friends. If the REC leads to users purchasing it, the price of the song will increase. The user will earn credit based on the increase in the price of the song after making the REC. Artists keep 70% of the proceeds after $5 in sales for each song. - Are you paying attention? This is the future, people.

The patient way: SXSW
I’ve first heard about some of my favorite artist (whether directly or indirectly) thanks to the South by Southwest music festival. Every year over a thousand bands go to Austin, TX to play at dozens of venues. The best thing about the festival (for someone that has never been to Austin) is that the SXSW site offers a free musical sampler. Before the start date they release a Bittorrent file with over 700 songs. All mp3’s. All DRM-free. I call it “the patient way” because it’s a tedious process to sort through 700+ songs to keep the ones you like. For the 2006 set it took me over six months. This year I sorted it in about two: iTunes and a Sansa are a big help. I kept almost 250 songs for 2006 and little over 190 for 2007. That’s a lot of free music.

Also, since I’ve discovered quite a few bands through blogs, maybe I should just set your ass up some phat tracks:

The Birthday Massacre - Video Kid
Boss Martians - Power Of Doubt
The Catch - Empty Your Pockets
End Of Fashion - O Yeah
Ladytron - Destroy Everything You Touch
Morningwood - Nth Degree
Page France - Junkyard
Sarah Hepburn - Hey Ok
Sia - Breathe Me
The Twenty Twos - She Does
Bishop Allen - Click Click Click
Eilen Jewell - Back To Dallas
K’NAAN - If Rap Gets Jealous
Loney Dear - I Am John
The Mooney Suzuki - 99%
Mute Math - Typical
Simple Kid - Seratonin
Sparkle Motion - Try
This Will Destroy You - I Believe In Your Victory
Voxtrot - Trouble

All these are provided through the SXSW site. Enjoy.



«« Older Items  •  Newer Items »»